Have you ever met one of those people who, with every word they speak, glow and are full of happiness, love and light? The kind of person who just seems to have everything in the world and more and all you can think is ‘damn, I wish I was like that/had that/could be that!’? Well I’m here to tell you that you can be that person. You can be the person who has positivity, happiness and gratitude pouring out of every little cell you have. All you need to do is master some self-loving practices… and if you’re wondering how on Earth to do that, don’t worry, this whole post is about helping you do exactly that.
Self-love is something that is becoming more and more popular these days and I am absolutely loving it! I love that there is more of a focus on learning to love yourself, be proud of who you are and not be embarrassed to admit it.
Self-love is definitely something that takes some getting used to because sadly, somewhere along the path of evolution, we humans have been brought up to put others first, be embarrassed/ashamed of our flaws and to think it is selfish or conceited to love yourself or do anything for yourself. Well, that’s all a bunch of BS and I want you to stop thinking that way right now. Here are my tips and tricks to being a self-loving angel!
1. Know your values, like, really, really know your values
Being someone who loves themselves (in the soul nourishing way not the stuck-up way) involves really knowing who you are, what you believe in and what you value. Knowing your values will help you work out what it is that will fill your cup instead of empty it. For example, some of my highest values are independence, knowledge, health and being in nature. So, for me, some of my favourite self-love rituals/practices/whatever’s involve those things: solo brunch dates, yoga outdoors, having an intelligent conversation with someone and learning new things. If you can do more things that make you feel full instead of doing things for others or because you think it’s the right thing to do when maybe it isn’t in-line with your values, how you feel about yourself will exponentially improve on the daily.
Getting to know yourself does take time and knowing your true values will as well. Don’t rush to think of things you value because you feel you have to have values, or compare your values with others, you are you, not anyone else and that is the most amazing thing.
2. Get rid of anything toxic
Have you ever had one of those ‘friends’ or boyfriends/girlfriends who (you may not even realise yet) drains your soul, makes you feel sh*t about yourself and/or isn’t in line with your values? Give them the flick ASAP! The same goes for toxic habits, behaviours etc. Anything that makes you question that you are an amazing, talented, gorgeous human who has everything to give this world, then it’s time to unapologetically say ‘see-ya later’.
By doing point number one, you’ll work out what is really important to you and what isn’t. Sometimes this means culling some toxic things/people/behaviours from your life and putting yourself first. Once you’ve worked out what you like/value and what you don’t like/value you can get into point three which I think is lots of fun!
3. Compliment yourself on the daily
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: pep talking yourself works wonders! I do it all the time… ‘Georgia, even though sometimes your hair doesn’t cooperate and is a little on the crazy side, it looks amazing today!’… ‘Alright Georgia, your shift is going to be hectic but you already know that you can do it so don’t you dare even think for a second that you can’t’… ‘You did such a good job today and you should proud soul sista!!!’ You get the idea.
Start getting in the habit of recognizing and really focusing on the positives of you. You might start by telling yourself in the mornings one thing you like about your appearance, one thing you like about your personality and something that you’re excited about doing today. Or, you could spend a few minutes at the end of the day thinking about the things that you did well that day. This can be a hard one to master because it’s so easy to focus on the negatives but once you start focusing on the good things about you, you’ll be loving yourself sick before you know it.
4. Treat yourself like you treat your best friend
We all have someone in our life – a best friend, sister, partner, mother – who we think the absolute world of. If they ever put themselves down, think they’re not good enough or are focusing on the tiniest, insignificant negative thing about themselves, we are so quick to tell them to shut up because they’re wrong. They are (in our eyes) so beautiful, caring, intelligent and soul filling that we can’t even begin to understand how they could think of themselves so negatively…
You should look at yourself like that. You should catch yourself when you’re thinking negatively, stop your mean mind in its tracks, tell it to shut up and remind yourself something positive about you. After all, you are indescribably amazing!
5. Make time for self-love practice
One of my goals for this year is making time for weekly self-love practice because it’s so easy to put yourself last when things get busy. Like I said earlier, I love doing things like taking myself out to brunch, spending some time in the garden or running a candle-lit bath with some nice music on. These are my weekly self-love practices, but I also do little self-love things throughout the day (hello point three). Writing in your diary/planner/schedule self-love time will keep you more accountable and hopefully help you give yourself some regular, well-deserved self-lovin’ time.
6. Be unapologetically you
This is probably one of the most important points, if not the most important.
We all have our little quirks; our things that we think people shouldn’t know about because we think they’re weird or embarrassing. These things, the things that make you different to the next person, these are life’s greatest gifts and you should embrace them with everything you’ve got.
I used to be embarrassed telling people that I like gardening more than I like going out for expensive cocktails. Even to this day sometimes, for a split second, I get embarrassed telling people that I created a blog and Instagram because I get scared they will judge me. But all it takes is a few extra seconds of talking to my brain for me to be like ‘oh helllllll no you are not embarrassed of your hard work and passion, let it shine baby!’ and then I’m all good. Embrace who you are and learn to love your individuality because my darlings, life is way too short not to absolutely love yourself, flaws and all.
If, after reading the above six points you’re thinking ‘self-love is not my thing’, please don’t think that, just take the key message from this post and tailor your self-love practice to you. Don’t think that self-love is just about talking to yourself and trying to be happy 24/7, self-love is about doing things that put you first, that make you feel good about yourself. Buying yourself flowers, going to the gym, eating a home cooked meal, spending time with your family, getting your nails done, meditating, having a glass of the expensive wine at dinner, stretching, painting, watching your fave movie, these are all things that can be considered self-love practices if they’re on your terms and you are thinking of yourself when you do them, not of someone else.
Self-love is putting you first, becoming your own best friend and celebrating every inch of your existence for the phenomenon that it is. Now go and fall in love with yourself my darlings, it is the greatest thing you’ll ever do.