Everyone loves a good romance story. Even guys can be suckers for a bit of romance, even if they don’t want to admit it. If you’ve come looking for romance; for red roses, candlelit ceremonies and ‘I love you’s’ written in flower petals, I’m sorry my sweet but you’ve come to the wrong place. The story of how I found the love of my life is much more reality than fairytale fiction and I wouldn’t have it any other way. First, let’s go back in time to the fun age range of 16-20.
When I was younger, all I wanted was a boyfriend. I was always the single one of the group and it was an ongoing joke that I would be forever single, or that I’d convince my best friend at the time and her boyfriend to write me into their wedding vows so I was a permanent but loved third wheel. I’d always had little flings with guys but nothing ever eventuated from them and I was convinced I wasn’t good/pretty/skinny/funny/blonde/whatever enough.
Prior to Jordan, aka the love of my life, I’ve been in love twice. Both times with people who didn’t see my worth, made me feel like s**t and both ended somewhat badly. One of those endings was when I had my ‘f**k it’ moment where I upped and left beautiful, sunny Cairns and moved to Melbourne, alone and sick of being that single person with no direction in life. My years of seeking someone to love me for me had left me with pretty low self esteem and not a whole lot of self respect. But before I left Cairns, something happened that I will never forget; I saw Jordan for the first time.
It was after a night out that I saw him at a house we’d all gone back to for more drinks (#healthy) and even though everyone was looking a little worse for wear - Jordan and I included - I could not help but think ‘I need to be with that human!’. Jordan and I had a mutual friend who happened to be Jordan’s house mate and the next time I saw this friend I bailed him up saying ‘YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOUR HOUSEMATE WAS HOT!!’ and other obscenities about how much I wanted to marry him… But I was leaving Cairns, so in my mind, that was that.
When I moved to Melbourne, for the first time in my life I was doing something for me so everything that I did was for me. Trips to the markets, buying flowers, watching tv on the couch; it was all for me. I was no longer desperately seeking a companion and instead was putting myself first and growing. I had this overwhelming sense of drive, pride and new found love for my independence that I wasn’t really thinking of boys. Although Jordan did pop into my head a few times, for all of one or two fleeting seconds.
Fast forward six months of me living in Melbourne (so around New Years) and Jordan’s housemate from Cairns was living with me for a few weeks when he first moved to Melbourne. He told me one day the Jordan was coming to Melbourne for New Years and that we should all go out together on NYE… Part of my brain was like ‘heck yes we will all go out together on New Years and he will love me and I will love him and we will get married and have babies’ and the other part of my brain was like ‘ehhh, this will be fun but I don’t expect anything out of it’. Without going into the nitty gritty; Jordan was my New Years kiss who stayed with me for the next four days and neither of us wanted our super long sleepover to end.
Jordan went back to Cairns but came back down to Melbourne a few times in the next three months. We spoke on the phone everyday and he eventually moved to Melbourne to pursue his career as a pilot. I like to tell people he moved here for me to stir him up, but I guess having a career maybe had something to do with it (hehe). We started living together pretty much straight away because Jordan’s living situation wasn’t really working for him and we both agreed that if it wasn’t working then that’s fine; there was no pressure from either of us and that’s how it’s always been. We’ve just done us and not cared about what other people think.
We have now been together officially for almost three years and I can honestly say that I think we’ll be together forever. Jordan is the most kind human being I know and in the last three years he has taught me so much about myself that I can’t even begin to put into words (but for the sake of the blog, I'll try). He has taught me to value myself, to do what I love, to fill my life with the right people and get rid of toxic people, to chase my dreams, to not be too hard on myself and that you should always be able to laugh at yourself. He is wise beyond his years and I can’t believe I found someone so supportive, loving and makes me laugh everyday so early in my life. When I told him I was writing this blog post and that the message that I want to get across isn’t just telling our story, he told me to write down the next thing that he said:
‘You’ve gotta fall in love with yourself before anyone can fall in love with you. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you?' As I started telling him that I couldn't agree more, he cut me off and told me he wasn't finished.... 'You have to love yourself so much that you’re overflowing with love, so that you’ve got enough love to love someone else.’
These words from my darling boy are the message I want to convey with this post. Yes, this is our story (squished into a few hundred words), but what I want you to take from it is exactly what Jordan said.
Stop looking for love. Take time to fall in love with yourself, to know who you truly are and what matters most to you. The right person will show up randomly at a time when you least expect it and if they are perfect for you, then you will be together. Don’t force things. Go with the flow. Love yourself, flaws and all before you start trying to tip from an empty cup to fill a void. This is how I met the love of my life.